When you can be titled to own something you aren’t, for anyone apart from your self, will you be real, are you presently it’s your self? In case your term can also be dissolve and you may recombine to your several other term, who are your anyway?
It secret of one’s mind, of one’s mutual but unbreachable reputation from singularity, twinkles including a series from lighting through the unique. The first occasion young Nel departs Medallion and you will fits the girl granny Rochelle-“it smaller woman toward softness and you may glare regarding a good canary”-she productivity with an enthusiastic epiphany:
“I am myself,” she whispered. “Myself.” Nel did not know a bit exactly what she meant, but additionally she knew what she intended. “ I’m not the girl. Me personally.” Each time she said the definition of me personally you will find a gathering inside her such as for example energy, eg glee, like concern.
I’m me
Me personally try a name that just you have which people more does, too; here is the uncanny miracle off pronouns.
Nel is herself however, later on book, she tries to separate herself regarding Sula, simply to become reminded: “You. Sula. What’s the huge difference?” Because the despite the individuality, both people try just like the profoundly linked since the deweys and you will you might Dating-Seiten, um eine lateinamerikanische Frau zu finden say exactly as fantastical. Sula and Nel very first fulfill both within fantasies, each feeling you to “enjoying the new fantasy along with her, was basically some smiling sympathetic eyes.” Eg Nel’s epiphany off thinking-regard, that it “intense … sudden” friendship having Sula is actually consummately certain and you will hauntingly common.
Whenever i think of Sula and you can believe that thrum at my breastbone, I’m thinking about this new tart eco-friendly sap regarding girlhood (“Hello, lady,” they claim, “girl, lady, girlgirlgirl”). I am remembering the “adventuresomeness” out of young girl relationship, the fresh “imply dedication to understand more about everything” along with her, its everything, plus the perfection of phrase: “And so they had no concerns.” I’m conjuring the newest teetering into the fleshly doings that occurs during the a certain age when, instantly, instance a group regarding birds erupting on the journey, the guys was beautiful: “It had been for the reason that june, summer time of the twelfth seasons, the summer months of your own gorgeous black colored men, that they turned skittish, terrified and you can challenging.”
I am perception it trembling big date, the attention and you can ache, “the quick breasts just now beginning to perform particular charming soreness,” that it girlish queerness-none upright neither lesbian exactly, but feverish having slant possibility-this dewy conspiracy of selves:
With her it did until the a couple of gaps was basically one while the exact same. When the depression is actually the dimensions of a little dishpan, Nel’s twig bankrupt. With a motion regarding disgust she put the pieces on the hole they had produced. Sula tossed hers in also. Nel watched a container limit and you will put they in too. For each up coming seemed available for way more particles in order to toss on hole: papers, items of glass, butts of cigarettes, up to most of the brief defiling anything they could look for were built-up there. Meticulously it replaced brand new floor and you can secured the whole grave having uprooted turf.
I am not Nel
Once more, just what influences myself ‘s the scene’s combination of strangeness and you will familiarity: the fresh unusual games people play when they’re outside while having zero toys; the sense that as the an early lady, I, also, starred in that way having, turned you to that have, most other young girls (whose brands I am aware: Hilda, Chanda, Nyaka). Even the minuscule information on the view-the fresh exact odds and ends Sula and you may Nel throw-in their matched opening-shudder involving the arbitrary additionally the archetypal.
Which provides the novel’s demand for spend: another page identifies crap, piss, butts, asses, feces, outhouses, bathrooms, bladders, otherwise constipation. (The bottom was a triple pun at the very least). The girls’ burial regarding “brief defiling one thing” pursue a couple other attacks of oblique abjection, that familial, one erotic. In the 1st, Sula overhears their mother speaking dismissively from the the girl and you may feels radically cut from your home, cast aside such as for instance slops. In the next, Sula and Nel focus on a beneficial gauntlet out-of male gazes (“pig beef,” Ajax phone calls shortly after him or her), secretly excited with what lies curled behind the latest seams of the men’s pants.
