Shortly after more than a couple of years out-of dipping in-and-out of OKCupid, it has got slowly dawned into the me personally that all (not all the, you nitpickers) feminine, 29-38, who have pages thereon web site end up in four broad classes (zero steer clear of the):
Zero, the latest “Peoplely-People,” according to the adverts wizards, is actually a keen unshaven, overgrown fratboy more likely to bellowing incoherently and you can higher-fiving their Token Black Friend more than just how sleek their vehicle is otherwise how good he believes his pisswater light alcohol choices
#1. The latest Whirlwind “Simply take your passport, let’s traveling!! Where? Any-fucking-where! It does not matter, just like the I’m types of a blank cover, and you can ongoing action is better than resting however and paying attention to the new roaring gap that is my identity!” Skiing regarding the cold temperatures, wakeboarding during summer, the Whirlwind does not have any persistence getting soft, inactive reflection, it’s wade-wade-go. She’s going to set you back on the an early on grave if you attempt to keep up with her, that is great ’cause your untimely dying gives their own additional time to have rock-hiking and trips to Ireland.
#2. New Girly-Girl She suits all of the stereotypes. They are girls that the “oppressed males” from inside the beer advertisements are always trying to getting away from, with justification. Especially noteable for their surely terrible preference in all different preferred culture, their Digital video disc cupboards try groaning which have headings such as for instance Dirty Dance and you will The notebook, as well as their mp3 playlists are chock-full off Jack Johnson, Keith Urban, and you will Colbie Caillat. They can be wise, nevertheless they never display screen a keen iota regarding intellectual curiosity. (Warning: She will at some point become The newest Castrating Shrew, but that is a different number of classes.)
So zero matches in my situation
[Front side Note: I thought brand new “Girly-Girl” is actually an excellent Madison Avenue cliche, a creature current solely just like the a keen antagonist regarding over-stated adverts, however, they truly are obviously online. I suppose its opposite matter ‘s the “Manly-People,” however it is no longer the new tough, square-jawed Marlboro Man sorts of. ]
#3. New Pretentious Grad Pupil She may have finished in the past, but don’t kept the fresh new attitude at the rear of. Very, extremely practical – even more very than just you, indeed, you scruffy screw – but has never laughed aloud within the a dog’s many years. (A really pithy Jon Stewart quip otherwise trenchant The Yorker anime get mark a beneficial wry smirk.) Discovering listing includes hefty volumes to the socio-governmental activities, or Gabriel Garcia Marquez novels. She pays attention so you can jazz, or Brazilian visitors, or maybe just almost any arises into NPR’s Campo grande marriage agency Fresh air that time (who has got going back to audio whenever there is certainly grounds?) She enjoys Thai restaurants, or perhaps is veggie, otherwise God help us, vegan. She will has a little bit of the Whirlwind inside her, watching an occasional stay away from towards “real” community from Europe, otherwise some oppressed Latin american banana republic. Their Twitter character visualize for another 1 . 5 years would be their particular facing some Mayan spoils from inside the oversized footwear and you may good hemp rucksack. Basically, the woman is completely insufferable.
#4. The fresh new “I’m-Just-A-Country-Girl” Entire lotta this type of hiding to. She has Tim McGraw and you will/otherwise contemporary Christian Cds (has never bought a music player yet). Possess camping. Most likely voted to have Plant, double, when it happened so you can their particular so you’re able to vote anyway. Foolish while the a fucking fencepost.
I frequently fall amongst the cracks (once more, zero pun intended) of these categories. Brand new 21-28 season olds have their unique number of kinds, being embryonic brands of all of the above (really the only change is the 30-38 season olds enjoys very good efforts), with the addition of Group Girl, Faux-Hippie Girl, and you will Commonly-I-Nerdy/Weird?-Girl.
